I want to weigh fifteen pounds less than I do, I want longer hair, I want to live in the sunshine and surf, I want to be able to buy organic produce, meat, and goods. And the list of wants and desires goes on and on; but, the reality is, I am no longer living in California, near the beach, in the sunshine, in a town that is riddled with organic, sustainable everything. I no longer live in a town with so many yoga studios, I haven't had time to even try them all. I don't live in a place with healthy food offerings and awareness of wellness. I no longer experience good service, or businesses that actually care about the customer. I live here, in England, where life is VERY different to that which I have grown accustomed. And I am having a truly difficult time adjusting to the way things are.
I spend a lot of my time wishing things were different here, wishing they were like they are in California, and not understanding why the people, businesses and way of life here don't change to be more like California. Newsflash: you are not in California anymore!
So then I turn my thinking and offer my mind the obvious, rational idea that England is a different way of life, and there is no logical reason why it even should be anything like California. Yet, knowing that I shouldn't, my thoughts then slip into comparisons. Life here is not as good as life in California, and so begins the mantra that tumbles endlessly in my head. This mantra creates a great amount of distress, unhappiness, frustration, and that old feeling of being stuck.
What are my options? I certainly do not want to continue in this current state of discontent. I want happiness now, not at some future point that is only imagined anyway. The only moment that exists is this one right now. Everything else is not real, it is imagined: both the interpretations from the past and the hopes for the future. Usually, I am a creature of now, but my current now is not anything I would choose.
So, the question is, "How do I find peace with what is?' I have been thinking on this, meditating on it, talking about it with my husband, and this is what I have come up with:
As my wonderful teacher and friend, Amber Campion, always says, "Energy flows where attention goes." So, I will focus on those things I adore and set aside those aspects that keep me stuck and stranded. I will focus on revitalizing nature walks with my children, my writing, my yoga practice, and on learning how to create those healthy foods and products from scratch. I will each day, try my hardest to focus on LOVE and GRATITUDE for this beautiful earth, for my healthy, marvelous children, for my loving and supportive husband and this most sacred, intimate practice of yoga. Then, with my focus honed to love, then love is what IS. Love is my reality, and peace my presence.